i made a promise some time ago i would be loyal to my friends... i made a promise some time ago that i would protect my friends to the best of my capabilities... i made a promise some time ago that i will care for you... i made a promise i would keep my promises made some time ago...
i hope you understand i hope you listen i hope you know that i am doing this because i care... i hope you understand i hope you listen i hope you know that it hurts me when i do this.... i hope you understand i hope you listen i hope you know that i will care for you no matter what...
i may be wrong i may be right i dont know but can you tell me what you are doing is? i may be wrong i may be right i dont know but can you tell me what kind of friend i am if i dont try? i may be wrong i may be right i dont know but i am doing this because i care for you...
i hope you understand... i know i dont know you fully but do you? i know i dont know you fully but that doesnt matter to me... i am just here next to you being that special friend you requested me to be... how can i just sit there and pass you the blade that i think would hurt you? how can i do that? i cannot... emotionally, physically and mentally my body rejects it all... it does all this because of one simple four letter word starting with "L"...
friends always care
23:16
well today marked the end of my resort ops project... such a relief... ok bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla... and so i went to class after handing it in... bla bla bla bla bla... in lect... bla bla bla bla... and then our lecture showed us these two videos... ( censored off all the boring bits...) well now people after all that boring stuff just sit back and laugh at these two hilarious videos...
friends always care
21:36
well i just read this news flash about this baby in London been given 25 MIDDLE NAMES!!! yes i am not kidding which means that her name is a total of 27 words... haha... Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.... thats her name.... such a mouthful isnt it... hahaha... well wanna knw how it came about? basically her parents are boxing fanatics and they decided to name her after these famous boxers.... on top of that, they have a draft sense of humour... turns out that her mother also has a name something like that and she says it took her 10yrs to remember her name so if she is able to do it, her baby should be fine... hahaha.... wat funny parents huh... hahhaa...
friends always care
23:17
i am tired i am tired I AM TIRED! sighhhh... i am just tired of everything under the sun... i am tired of looking after this house i am tired of looking after my brother i am tired of school i am tired of every single little thing... sighhh.... i am just tired... kinda feel like crap now and then it feels like everything of the house is dependent on me... i have to launder the clothes have to look after the pets have to cook have to wash have to basically do much of everything... i am just tired.... and there is still a foot pile of letters waiting i guess for me in which i have to clear before my phone and lights gets cut off... sighhh... and i still have projs tests and work to juggle with... i practically have no social life... i have not seen bev since the holiday started and it just sux ok.... it sux to the core... some times it is just weird you know at the end of the day, realising that you have been running around like a bumble bee but have not opened your mouth at all throughout the day... it sux it is brain draining and tiresome...
well i tried to escape off to church... escape from all of this... sermon was quite good... it was by the youth ministry.... the speaker was really good... i didnt really have enough sleep last night and had to drag myself out of bed but he managed to grab my total attention throughout.... the topic was basically about failure... this is one of the questions i have had for the world for some time and it was preched today... why is it that we cannot accept failure as a different form of success? like the chinese phrase goes, failure is the mother of success... then why is it we despise failure and trample it on the ground? how are we to achieve, attain and cherish any for of success if we do not go through failure...
well now i am back home goin to take a rest, escape from this world and go into the sureal realm of dreams and when i do make my return i shall start on my work...
i am tired.... can you help?
friends always care
14:25
well remember some time back i was thinking of starting my own little home restaurant? well i think the idea will soon take shape... i am intending to start my little idea during the next holiday... probably goin to spread via word of mouth to friend's friends... actually i am not intending to earn much money out of it... just want to try it out as a hobbie... thinking of charging at cost price and the guest shall top up what ever they feel is reasonable... i am probably going to start my only little online menu thingy so that they could have a look at the dishes and place their orders... it probably would only start on the last two weeks of my up coming holiday... goin to start compiling photos from now... i would really love to just try it out for fun... haha...
friends always care
15:51
it has only been about 3 weeks since mom left my bro and i alone... since then we have been almost fully independent... at times my bro would have to stay in camp for duties like tonight... and it makes me wonder... is silence golden or is it deafening?
when the family was around in singapore i was so easily irritated by them... all the noise and issues that arised... was quite stifling actually... however now i can go through an entire day without opening my mouth to anyone... and some how this feeling is communicated across to my friends whenever they come over... they always sense that the home was missing something that made it look deserted...
i guess it is missing a family... one that lives in it and makes it all roudy and irritates everyone within its doors... independence is a funny word isnt it? in - dependence... kinda agree with the word... it is when you are forced to be independent that you realise that you end up searching for dependence once more....
recently i have been trying to organise a few parties and dinners now and then in the attempt to lifen up the house... in the day the house is a flurry of activities... at night laughter and noise tear through the air... and when they are gone it returns to its solemn state of silence....
why is silence deafening? well it is jarring and irritating just like noise... it can drive you crazy and burst your brains just thinking of it, just like noise... there is a tolerance level for it just like noise... and some times it numbs you from all your senses... just... like... noise....
friends always care
01:33
wooooot yesterday was great... had some project meeting in the morning... was actually suppose to wrap the whole thing up but you knw murphy's law, what could go wrong will go wrong... so well nothin much just that smith's com crashed on us... and we lost a few reports...haha... was actually quite worried for a while... but then bernard and smith took on the task of redoing the missing reports which was a great help to us all... the other three of us, cheryl paulina and i then started on the presentation...
well i left to meet Weijie and Jasmine... met WJ at TM and Jasmine at compass point... both of them came over to my house and i whipped up a really fast meal for them... and man can the both of them suan each other... since the time we met at compass point which was about 6pm till 8pm the two of them kept suaning each other... hmmm i think they have something going on hahahhaa... jkjkjk... dun kill me yea... it is just an observation hahaha....
well i decided to do a simple dinner... appetizer was bruchettas... beautiful crispy bread topped off with chopped tomatoes marinated with the nice aromatic taste of balsamic vinegar... i then did some boiled tomatoes with cheese, asparagus wrapped with bacon and a black pepper beef steak with a red wine reduced sauce... it was great... and to end it all off, i grilled some banannas poured molten chocolate over it with a raspberry sauce and brandy... for decor and a little bit more taste, i added three raspberries on the top... it was wonderful...
well here are the two pictures we managed to take... hahaha...
friends always care
21:03
heyyy guess what this dumb kid that is typing out this post forgot all about fathers day... well actually not quite lah... i kinda thought it was on tuesday... ARGHHH dumb huh... well it was not till 9pm that qingyun shocked me... haha...
so in the end when my parents came back from dinner, 21 hours into the day, i wished my dad happy fathers day... haha... but hey i guess everyday is fathers day right... i think it is kinda wrong to celebrate fathers day actually... because i think it should be celebrated everyday and not for this one "special" day and everyone is happy and jovile... haha but i guess it is just a special day set aside for people like me who forget once in a while how great their father has been...
well i poped the bottle of wine that i specially brought all the way from singapore... a beautiful louis latour, vintage 2002, from france - bourgogne - cote d'or... it was only a vin de bourgogne but hey its good enough for me... haha... well i hope my dad enjoyed it... took alot of effort to bring it across and ensure that it doesnt break... well to all fathers out there HAPPY FATHERS DAY... to all children out there, love them... they normally dont ask you for it but they sure deserve it...
friends always care
22:29
ARGH i cant stand it some times... sometimes people just know how to peeve me... you knw wat some time i feel like just forgeting about the world forget about every darn problem it has and just move on and care about my own life... some times i just have got this strong urge to swear and curse and forget about that stupid promise i made... FreAk!!! argh.... just hate it some times... wth... WTH.... argh.... if there is anything i would like to do now, it is to slap myself and go woopie kiyay... how fun is that.... arghhh.... man i hate it when i am pissed... not only does my blood pressure rise which may resort in hypertension or blood clots or what ever dumb thing... it also shortens my life by 5mins and gives me damn wrinkles in the long run... ARGH... may be i should just forget about everything you know carry on along my path with my face stuck to the floor, ears stuffed with cement and sewn together, nose stuffed with whatever not... just shut me off...
friends always care
01:33
hey guys... well last night i was thinking to myself that i was going to go to vietnam all quietly without a sound without commotion... yea yea well all emo huh... well guess what i didnt even have a chance to think about that....
it all began like this....
the alarm was screaming its head off and i thought to myself man my bro has some weird choice of alarms... cant he switch that thing off... so i slowly started to drift away back to sleep... then suddenly something jolted me... "joel... joel..." i replied in a muffled slur of speach "yeeeeaaa" as i slowly processed the half drawn breath voice, i realised it was my brother calling me from the bed... then he replied "do you know it is 5.45?" for a split second i was stunned... then he continued... "my alarm rings at 5.45"... "OH CRAP" i literally jumped out of bed and rushed to get changed up.... you see my flight was at 7.25am and i had asked a cab to pick me at 5.40 and for the past 10mins my neighbour had been frantically trying to get my attention to the cabbie that had been waiting outside for some time now... i washed up, changed up, grabbed my bags, rushed out of the house, all in a matter of 10mins... cool huh =)
after i blurted out apologies like an overflowing dam, we got on our way to the airport... i was sitting in the cab trying to catch my breath when i suddenly felt myself going faster and faster and faster... suddenly all the cars seemed to move so slowly... then i moved my eyes over to the speeedometer... and in my mind went.." LORD PROTECT THIS CAR... PROTECT THIS CAR.." grabbed hold of the seat belt and buckled myself in as all that i could process at that point in time were those 4 words.... the taxi driver was driving at a neckbreak speed of 150kmph.... i have never gone so fast in my life... i actually managed to reach the airport in a mere 10mins... i was utterly stunned... and was really scared... haha....
from being late to having enough time to walk around DFS grab a bite and stroll to the gate... well lets just say that because of that even though i only had 4hrs of sleep, i am still wide awake...
well upon arrival in vientam, i headed straight for the market to buy some textiles... thinking of tailoring a suit and two shirts... and hey nikko i just found out that the suit would only cost me abt 80 or 90 sing plus material.... =) heees.... well thats basically all for today i hope my adreneline wont flow again...
friends always care
14:37
well last night as you would have guessed from the title, i didnt really get a good nights sleep... took about an hour and a half to fall asleep... and i kept waking up at night... well during the one and half hours that i was tossing around, my mind was really active thinking about everything i could think of... actually more of the social aspect of my life...
kept thinking about friends and family... alot of what if what could be what is kind of scinerios popped out... it just got me thinking about my life and the people around me... actually i like thinking about all this but it sorta makes me a bit emo the next day... dont ask me why ... but well...
o wells tmrw i shall be flying off to vietnam for the third time... haha... cant wait to be there actually... thinking of making a new suit when i arrive... but this trip is gonna be slightly different... ill be going to vietnam as a study holiday... haha... so contradictory isnt it... study holiday... well i need to get the engine pumping again... test would start once more straight after the hols, one proj is due after the hols as well...
proj proj proj... sigh i dont know whats up with my projs... some how this sem i am not as confident in them as the last... last sem i was quite confident in what i would get and i was quite happy with it... but now this sem i keep on wondering how i can push up my projs... i dont wanna remain at the grades that i got last sem i want to push it up at least one level... but how? been pondering over this for a long time... now i am even scared that i might be over doing things if i push it too hard... should i just leave it as it is and let God do the rest? hmm i dont know... i just want the best that i can do i guess...
friends always care
11:58
hmm well i have been thinking about my life as a christian what should i be doing what should i not be doing am i on the right path am i on the wrong path and lots more... and all this was kindled by ariels question "hmm but do you feel bad..like you are not actually down into doing something for Him.." well this kinda got me wondering and i started to think about it...
i realised something i am where i am for a reason and i am doing something for the Lord... it is not with the church nor with any christian group... i feel that he wants me to start a ministry with the people around me...
hmm i guess when God wants to use you it doesnt have to be a gigantic international thing but start with the person next to you that is good enough bec in God's eyes everyone counts and is clearly reflected in nehemiah 7: 5 - 73... the longest chapter in nehemiah but in it you realise how well or how much God treasures and knows each one of us...
friends always care
14:47
well remember my post about my bryani? well i cant remember whether i stated this or not but well that was a prelude to what happened to night... my bro and aunt were basically my guinea pigs... today whipped up the same bryani for Joesph Qing yun Ariel Becks and Warren...
haha had a real blast... started preperation at 1pm and not too long ago, finished cleaning up the kitchen... but i really enjoyed myself... haha... thanks guys for having dinner with me... lifen up the house a bit...
hmm oooo i had an extra little something as well... managed to prepare a dessert for them... traditional style sago with coconut cream and gula melaka... hmm wasnt really good in my opinion... the sago was not springy and chewy... and the presentation well it needs alot of work... but hey they all enjoyed it haha.... well all i hope is that everyone had fun that is enough to make my efforts all worth the while... cya guys...
friends always care
00:05
well before i go into what happened today which i am still a bit freaked out about, lets go into what happened last night...
well yesterday i invited my aunt over for dinner thought of trying my hand out at cooking some asian dishes which i have never done before.. decided on whipping up some chicken bryani for her... and i must say it was really really good... i burnt 2 pots but hey it was worth it... haha... after alot of scrubbing the pots were like new... haha... but was cursing away... haha... but the curry wasnt spicy hot at all and the aromas from all the spices just infused with each other in harmony... really nice... the rice was so fragrant... it was grainy yet not dry, moist yet not marshy... it was perfect... but the irritating part about bryani rice is the picking out of all those stupid cloves and cardemon... so horrible when you bite into one... YUCK...
but it was a real success... haha... not too bad for my first attempt heees...
well what happened today... well i went to church as usual and decided to head on down to town... and i was feeling kinda bumped out bec i was walking all alone brother was still asleep... then as i walked around town man i passed so many strangers that reminded me about people i know, mostly people whom i care about... it is either their body language, wearing identical clothes, the way they speak, their facial features.... it was scary... so that kinda made me even more emo... o my i sound like a woman gettin all emo and stuff haha... and at the MRT i decided to listen to some music so swtiched on my MP3 and guess what the darn song was... LONELY by akon... WAH LAO and just before i took my MP3 out of my bag i was thinking how ironic it would be if THAT SONG were to play... o well... im tired now i am goin to take my afternoon siesta... chow...
my ministry that i think God wants me to be is with the people next to me...
friends always care
16:55
well today i played 2hrs of badminton with wei jie and jasmine at tampines stadium... after we ended at 3pm, i decided to come back home and rest a bit before finishing off with house matters and cooking dinner for my brother and i...
decided to cook one of my bro's favourites tonight... a simple dish, minced pork with black sauce fried with shittake mushrooms and chillies and this would then be mounted on top of some tau gua sliced into 1cm thick slices... today i decided to cook the tau gua a bit longer to make it a beautiful golden brown where by it is crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside... really simple and nice dish... was kinda hungry after all that excercise so i decided to chow down my food before my bro gets home....
was kinda excited to present to him my hours worth of cooking but well thing is that i called him at 8 and found out he would be coming home late and wont be needing dinner... well at first i was on the bridge of self pitty... but i kinda thought to myself... i didnt do this for my own pleasure or anything i did this because i need to... hey i cant imagine what it would be like if my bro comes home and there is no dinner... he might then choose to stay out more often and hardly return home... well there was just this one simple instruction that my dad gave me, " make sure your brother comes home" and because of that, i will do this every night...
well yea i would love to go out and all but i think i kinda figured that my daily routine of doing the house work, do some proj, go out, come back do some house work, do proj, cook dinner, clean up... i think it is more meaningful... so well self pitty? pass it on to someone else...
friends always care
20:09
well yesterday was day 1 that my mom wasnt ard in singapore... it was not till the nigh before that i realised that i had nothing planned and i would be sitting at home doing nothing at all... well in the morning i went to pass bev my tripod stand for her project... then after that i went on a desperate search for anyone to go out with me... hahaha... kept calling but somehow it seemed as if everyone had plans already fixed for them... but I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET SOMEONE WOOOOT... so at ard 2.45 i met up with jasmine and we walked around town helping her look for a present for one of her friends... after which she left at ard 4pm... hey i was desperate haha... i just needed to go out so badly... haha... well i then walked around town by myself in search of some shades... woooooot... and man did i find one... a beautiful ray ban... but sadly the price was a bit way over my budget... its damage was 400... after that came the funny turning point of my day... called up warren asking if he wanted to go out... he said no but then refered me to nikko who was said to be walking around town alone... so i decided to meet up with her... when i did, we started walking around and bumped into clara, judy and cheryl... and coincidentally they bumped into each other too... isnt that so weird??? well so from one we became 2, became 5... hmmm... haha... well that was yesterday in a nutshell... CHOWW...
friends always care
10:37
here i hang simple as i am... dangling from a soft string of gold of which i hold... bellow me, a pot filled with sorrows and woes... my face looking down from above and i start to ponder...
speaking out everything from my heart... do you listen or do you just hear? if you know me you will understand...
friends always care
00:03