man i was really tired last night.... decided to go to bed at about 10pm... but the funny thing is that i only got to sleep at 2am... was tossing and turning around the bed... i just couldnt sleep... my stomach was really uncomfortable all filled with air... got no idea why... haha... then i started to think about stuff during that time...
first was about how much God had blessed me during the exam... how i saw his hand of grace upon me...
was thinking about a few other stuff... then came the topic of my dad's posting... well if you guys didnt know when i come back from vietnam, i am basically more or less all alone at home... and i mean no one else... so i started to think of the stuff i had to do to maintain the house.... ARGHHHH.... till now it still haunts me.... i dont know i guess i am just kinda scared of the unknown... but then last night i started to question once again... why why must the family be split? the company thinks that since dad's children are all grown up already there should be no problem? question i pose to them is how would you know? you are in singapore... and yet they want to scrouge on a few tickets to see each other once in a while... it was actually not till last night did the weight of the whole matter sink in... i suddenly realised that i have hardly been seeing dad or actually interacting with him for some time... i dont know... maybe i am still imature about all this but all i seriously want now is for things to go back to the way it was where everyone was together...
i know i shouldnt be questioning nor be ungrateful for the blessing bestowed upon us... however i mean i just cant help it... really... i just want to be at home....
friends always care
12:39