well wondering why i am posting again??? well just thinking about life... i mean there i was having such a great day today... experiencing God's providence and peace... and the next thing i know a few hours later i find out that my uncle has also just experienced God and probably is right now... however, i guess in a different way from what i did...
and it is really this little thing that makes me really thnk about life... i mean they say... the truest measure of a person is during his funeral when everyone comes to share a little something about the great life he has lead... however, the ironic part is that none of us would live to see that day... it would be something like a medal of velor never presented to the hero himself but showcased for everyone to see...
i wonder to myself:
when we do pass on, do we linger around in this world for a short while? do we slowly float up to hopefully heaven... or do we *poof* and there we are in front of God awaiting his judgement.... and when we are up in heaven would God let us see what our funeral is like from above? and lastly when people like me say short prayers to God and ask if he could pass a message of gratitude to a loved one... would he?
now i sit back thinking of how one miracle starts whilst another ends somewhere else and think to myself... what do i want in life? one simple question that speaks many thoughts... i sit back and i console myself... and i hope that i am able to attain my one goal in life... the goal that i have clung on to for a long time....
and i hope that because of this one simple goal of mine in life, maybe perhaps i would get a little tolken of appreciation in return...
friends always care
22:05
well hey i went to church today... doesnt sound great eh... well i went to church by myself today... kinda proud of myself... woopie.... well actually i really didnt want to go to church today... hey i mean who would... it is so far away and no one is here to fetch me there... well so i had to wake up at 8am again today... yea yea there goes my beauty sleep....
well actually i was quite amazed... i kinda prayed that my journey would be nice and smooth and ill get there fast... and hey i got a shock... walked out of my house... what do you know there it was 854 just behind the traffic light about to arrive at the bus stop... then i arrrived at yishun... and guess what... i got up the platform and there was my train... i went down at chua chu kang mrt... and guess what all i had to do was find out which side of the LRT to take and my ride came a few seconds after.... was really shocking... so i kinda guessed that He wanted me in church...
and then came worship... out of all my 17 yrs i only felt it twice that the worship and sermon was for me... and this was one of the times... the other was with ariel during the City Harvest anneversary (still greatful to you that you brought me there gal...) well like the last time round again.... the worship leader just said out on the mic that this worship was different from the other services today... God told him that it was going to be about reconciliation..l well i felt that thingling sensation down my spine once again as i heard such a thing for the second time... i closed my eyes to pray... and when i opened them i just realised that beads of tears were just trickling down my cheecks... i had no idea why i was crying but yea....
well my journey back after that great sermon was just as facinating... there it was starting to rain and here i was in the bus... when i got out of the bus, the rain just stopped and when i reached home not long after it started again... coincidence? well i dont know about you guys but i know that it is much more than coincidence... how can it be...
friends always care
15:35
男儿当自强,不准哭
well right now it seems like everyone is moving away... bro goes to camp only see him for an hour every week if im lucky.... mom went back to vietnam just this morning... dad still in vietnam not seen him for more than a month now... my maid is going back to indonesia to get married in january... so that basically means that i am all alone by myself for i dont know how long...
question: is this place still a home or is it a house i live in?
Answer: i dont know
question: where is my home?
answer: i dont know
question: what happen to everyone?
answer: i dont know
well it sorta seems like everyone is moving away... relationships with some of my friends havent been all too hunky dory for me too... and again i question myself...
question: why must everything bad come at one shot?
answer: i dont know
well now the burden of the house has been dumped on to me directly... and notice i use the word house not home... i guess i subcontiously found my own answer to the question... i have to burden of taking care of the house... making sure my family still holds.... making sure that i can do well in my studies.... well it is almost too much for me to handle... looking into the light of God as my only hope of help i stand....
people ask me what i want for christmas and i keep silent because all i want in my heart is to spend my christmas with my family.... together... and together we be in this house and turn it into a home...
sigh... well i know that my dad has to be there... but in my heart there is only this one wish that i have... and this is the only wish i keep....
friends always care
15:32
hey hey didnt post up anything for a long long time... and well again im not really going to post up anything much... well sorry... hmmm actually well im too busy to post... so as a little treat i have decided to let you all have a look at this little wacky comedy video done up sorta crticising singaporeans or rather telling us the whole story of singapore in a nice comical clip... so enjoy.... o yea but you have to confess that you are sorta bored and need some sorta entertainment... so just click the link below...
I NEED ENTERTAINMENT!!!
friends always care
00:47